pitchdork
Ha ha. Sub Pop Records has a great parody of Pitchfork up at their website. It's true, the people who write for Pitchfork are a bunch of hipster elitist music snobs with some really weird levels of rating things.
I admit that I check Pitchfork out every now and then, but rarely if ever pay attention to their numerical ratings. Mostly they're good for bringing the 'hipster' releases to my attention. They have basically no idea of what they're doing when they review hip-hop or electronic music, but they do seem to always know what the next trendy thing is in rock. Not that the next trendy thing is actually any good, but whatever...
indie crunk! that's blowin' up in 04. dizzie rascal is terrible. have u heard of jehst? he prolly da best british mc, imo, but still sounds suspect. being in britain and liking hip-hop must be what it feels like to like detroit techno in the usa -- nobody cares.
after reading about the pitchdork parody in the houston press, i wanted to see it. so i typed "sub pop pitchdork" into a google search. You should be proud that, while the number one indexed site was the sub pop page itself, the number two google result was your page. all hail the power of falsecognate.org! internet tastemaker!